Taptaptap. Did you hear that? That is someone in Nparks tapping out after getting a Guillotine Choke for gaming the purchasing system. Khaw Boon Wan, famous for asking us to send our old folks to Batam or was it JB to live in retirement villages, is trying to gain moral high ground.
With a mighty wave of his hand, he has suspended a civil servant who outsmarted the system to get cool bikes for his teams. I want to work with such a boss if I was a civil servant! Use taxpayers money and get ourselves nice Subaru WRX or Volvos as company cars to drive around for productivity. Oh shit, Traffic Police already thought of that first! FUCK. Anyway, so far this Nparks Brompton bikes case is not a corruption scandal. Unless the suspended guy got a blow job, had money under the table or some other woohoo favours, like the CNB and SCDF chiefs had.
Just the start of this month, Ah Khaw supported the decision to buy 26 pricey Brompton foldable bikes, each costing S$2,400. I don't cycle and don't know the difference between a Cannondale and a Colnago, so maybe it is a good bang for buck for a branded bike in terms of value. Although the cheapskate in me says what looks like the stiff 20-kg sub-$200 bikes in Carrefour or Giant seem like a better deal in terms of absolute price. So cheap, can buy more! In different colours! The extra unspent money can even buy pretty blue and pink ribbons, and bells for the handlebars, and a tiny white basket at the back of the bike to tarpau food. OK these add-ons make the bikes look pussy compared to a rugged mountain bike. But fuck, a foldy, Brompton or not, is damn guniang anyway.
When public pressure mounted and painfully humped him in the backside, Khaw desperately decided to salvage the situation. While trying to defend the earlier productivity reasoning, he also finally admitted there might be personal bias in the buying. Facepalm. Wasn't it obvious from the start? So cheers for the Hardwarezone CSI guys who exposed these eerrr "discrepancies" right at the start. It's our taxpayers money we are talking about! For bringing this to light, give them a Tiger! I mean a Chang, errr I mean a Heineken, errr I mean a Kirin. FUCK. Which is it now? OK CSI team, Brompton bikes over, go check the books on those pre-owned Leopards we bought!
Updated 09:34 PM Jul 24, 2012
SINGAPORE - The Ministry of National Development (MND) has released a statement on the suspension of the National Park Boards (NParks) officer in charge of buying foldable bikes. The following is its statement in full.
"Last month, an MND Internal Audit team was tasked by Minister Khaw Boon Wan to work with NParks to review the purchase of 26 foldable bikes by NParks, with a view to ascertain its justification and to see if its procurement process could be improved. This followed a report on the purchase, in the local media, on June 24.
"The internal audit has been completed. While the audit established that the reasons for purchasing foldable bikes to enhance work productivity of NParks field staff were valid, it had also uncovered some discrepancies which, although inconclusive by themselves, suggested the possibility of bias in the procurement.
"MND has decided that the discrepancies were significant and warrant further investigation. Meanwhile, the NParks officer responsible for the transaction has been suspended from duty."